Three Women | revealing, fragile, yearning

Review: 3 stars

‘Three Women’ was featured as one of Indigo’s top 10 books of the year, and I picked it up, intrigued by Taddeo’s journalistic angle on female sexuality. This bestselling non-fiction book follows three women - Maggie, Sloan and Lina - and their complicated relationship with intimacy and physicality through nearly a decade.

We meet Maggie at the tender age of 17, who is rapidly exploring her sexuality. After a prior relationship with an older man while vacationing in Hawaii, she begins falling into a tangled romantic relationship with Aaron Knodel, her high school English teacher. This marks the beginning of Maggie’s unravelling - of her future, her reputation, and her confidence in love. Knodel is portrayed as a charismatic trapper of Maggie’s heart, initiating texts, hours-long midnight conversations and a transgressive encounter at his family’s home. Taddeo deftly surfaces Maggie’s anguish when Knodel abruptly ends the relationship. Maggie is devastated to her core that her lover has spurned her, an emotion that overwhelms a more rational epiphany that her youth and caprice has been marred by an older, more powerful, advantaged man.

Lina and Sloan similarly lead lives of deception, torment and ecstasy, bringing sex lives that are indecent in the eyes of society, into the bright of day for examination, but even more for empathy. A key message of Taddeo’s is that how we choose to experience sexuality is wholly our own. That when women feel heartbreak, lust and adoration, that we are making ourselves vulnerable to pain, and should not be judged, especially by other women, each living their own truth.

I did find myself fighting impulsive questions of ‘Is she at fault for this?’ and ‘How could she do this to another woman?’. Yet this is the deftness of Taddeo’s journalistic magic - she brings the full perspective of each protagonist, such that I was forced to delay reaction, and instead pursue contemplation. This is a highly readable and pulsating piece of journalism. I did however find that it was not as impactful to my outlook on life, despite its candour and unique subject matter. I was asked by my sister-in-law over the break whether I had read anything great lately, and this novel simply slipped by mind. However, this is a solid pick for any man or woman who is looking for an engaging non-fiction read.

The Spy and the Traitor | cinematic, historic, thriller

Review: 3 stars

I’ve been on a book-buying binge recently, and picked up “The Spy and the Traitor” recently at the Indigo Spirit at First Canadian Place during Black Friday,. A guaranteed read by Heather Reisman, Indigo’s Chief Book Lover, I was intrigued by the promise of ‘the best true spy story”.

This book is a non-fiction account of Oleg Gordievsky, a Soviet KGB officer turned MI6 undercover spy, and his distinctive place in Cold War history. A man of duelling loyalties with a strong KGB heritage, events such as the Berlin Wall and the Russian quashing of Czech protests orient him increasingly towards the West. His posting to Denmark brings his oppressive Soviet life into stark contrast with the bustling, colourful richesse of the West, and a chance outreach by MI6 confirms his full conversion to covert spy.

Ego and fear rule Soviet bureaucracy and the espionage machinery - which results in a number of lucky breaks for Gordievsky as he climbs through the ranks of the KGB, becoming the Resident-Designate of the London cell. The inability to admit fault and a culture of alcoholism and sloth were surprising to me, given the dominant reputation of the KGB. As Gordievsky increasingly gains access to national secrets, and divulges them line by line to the British, the stakes climb ever higher, making the far-fetched PIMLICO evacuation plan for Gordievsky ever more important.

The narrative moves at a quick pace, spending sufficient time setting up Gordievsky’s childhood, his influential friendships, his marriages (which were themselves an art in deception) and the coincidences and tight orchestration that led to his unique role in the Cold War. I found myself restraining from scanning the rest of the page during key moment of betrayal or potential exposure. I also found myself in deep admiration for the dedication the MI6 apparatus had towards maintaining Gordievsky’s safety - for example - staking the evacuation signal sight for weeks before and after Gordievsky’s visits back to Moscow.

I did wish for less repetition about Gordievsky’s upbringing (i.e., religious grandmother, militant KGB father) and about his role in diverting all-out nuclear war between U.S. and the Soviet Union (which felt overblown in proportion). That said, it is undeniable that the Queen of England, Margaret Thatcher and other key world leaders were influenced by the intel imparted by Gordievsky’s efforts. There is also some poetic elegance in the parallel stories of the CIA mole and Gordievsky, and how despite our sympathies for the latter, both in fact betrayed multiple countrymen in pursuit of what each sought as “justice”.

Lots in here for fans of spy novels, conspiracies and non-fiction adventure. I would recommend ‘The Spy and the Traitor’ to those who want a light, true-story read, and how may have a keen interest in learning more about the Soviet Union.

Becoming | moral, candid, aware

Review: 4 stars

I can’t think of a more anticipated read for 2018 than ‘Becoming’ by former First Lady, Michelle Obama. From the vestiges of the Obama presidency came an insistent movement of believers who yearned for a presidential run from “the better half” of the former First Couple. Like many others, I thought that this tell-all would lay the foundation for Michelle’s campaign for 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. What I encountered instead was far more intimate and independent than I expected.

‘Becoming’ is told in three parts - each an integral piece of the composition that Michelle is today - her childhood, her relationship with Barack, and finally her experience as First Lady. Throughout she seeks to distinguish herself from Barack, signalling that the values she stands for were entrenched long before her charismatic, nation-leading husband sauntered into her life. As an adolescent she bore witness to white flight from her neighbourhood, which.shuttered businesses and unbalanced schools. Her innate drive for overachievement was instilled into her by her mother. Her belief in “showing up” was nurtured through osmotic observance of her father, who went to work everyday despite his MS. The early chapters firmly establish Michelle as independent woman with strong ethics and true fortitude, forged with the anvil of Black America.

She also pulls back the curtain on what it felt like to be in the maelstrom of Barack’s candidacy and presidency itself. Suddenly, her identity as a successful lawyer, talented health care professional, and empowered mother, became recast as singularly as patriotic wife and mother. Her voice, which she so valued, became muted in fear of passion being translated as anger onto national television screens. Her role as advocate and ambassador for her husband overrode her personal ambitions. It is this narrative that I found the most compelling. Michelle portrays herself as “Everywoman” - navigating through the same inequalities in marriage and motherhood doubts that many of us succumb to.

Michelle writes with the full awareness of a seasoned public figure. She is aware of the legacy this book will create for herself. She is aware of how her opinions may reinforce or counter Barack’s oft-articulated platform. She is aware of what this book means for the status of womanhood, motherhood, African Americans, democracy and the peaceful transition of power. Her biography is hopeful, urgent and a graceful commemoration of the first Black First Family. One of the most astounding revelations of the novel for me were when she describes paying for the initial White House redirection personally vs. using taxpayer money. She asserts that because of their blackness, she and her family have to do more and do better, just to be perceived as equal by society.

The parts of the book I appreciated the least were when she reinforced her own platform as a First Lady (Let’s Move, White House garden). Oddly, it felt inauthentic and forced, a tone very at odds with the rest of her intimate narrative. Despite this, I came away from ‘Becoming’ with an even greater appreciation for Michelle as a person. Her ability to connect through story is powerful and inclusive. This is not her launching point for political career (as she clearly affirms), but her ambition, empathy and talent are too great for her to fade into the annals of First Ladies past.

A Nurse's Story | eye-opening, empathetic, entertaining

Review: 4 stars

My lovely nanny is an avid reader, and she passed ‘A Nurse’s Story’ to me one day after seeing my stacks of books lying around the condo. Her rain-battered and tear-stained copy bore the scars of obsessive reading, so I was excited to dive into it.

‘A Nurse’s Story’ is Tilda Shalof’s partly-biographical retelling of her most salient encounters working as an ICU nurse in the Toronto hospital system. Throughout highly-entertaining, sometimes disgusting, and often touching patient narratives, she interweaves several key theses: (1) the role of a nurse is intricate and indispensable, and is being undermined by government budget cuts, (2) nurses need to first take care of themselves, before they can take care of others, and (3) the unecessary prolonging of “life” can be cruel and selfish.

My husband is a physician, so I’ve often heard him sing the praises of nurses, and at times, vent in frustration at oversights that a nurse made. But he has been unwavering in how important nurses are to his ability to perform his job efficiently and effectively. When I think back to major medical milestones of my life - giving birth, staying by my father-in-law’s side in the ICU, or receiving long-distance updates as my mother underwent heart surgery - I realize how much power nurses hold in their hands. Nurses administer the doses of medication that sustain patient comfort and survival; they make adjustments on the fly and decide when to escalate for help; they control the emotional well-bring of a patient and his/her family, acting as a twitter-feed for progress updates…and so much more. They have to be error-free, because of the mortal repercussions of their actions.

This book tremendously increased my awareness for what nurses are responsible for, and what they endure. I loved that Shalof reiterates through various anecdotes how the ICU’s emotional trauma osmoses to the mental health of nurses themselves. When I hear nurses laughing together now, catharsis instead of insensitivity comes to mind. There was also a quote (spoken by a doctor) that really crystallized for me what a nurse’s mission is: “We never withdraw care. In certain circumstances, we may withdraw treatment, but never care".

Finally. Shalof relates a number of incidents where patient families insisted on life support for their relatives, even when the body was necrotizing, or organs primed for transplant were wasted on a brain-dead patient. In these scenarios, Shalof and her fellow nurses on ‘Laura’s Line’ advocate for death with dignity, to release the body from painful interventions. I had always held the perspective that '“everything should be done” for my family members, and even for myself, but Shalof has encouraged me to rethink this blanket belief. It is often the desire to relieve personal guilt that drives families to prolong life past the last shred of realistic hope for recovery.

I highly recommend this book to those who want a very readable, thought-provoking look into patient care, narrated by a passionate insider. Shalof’s writing is convincing, well-balanced and unequivocal, and her stories are incredible.

Bringing Up Bebe | practical, charming, humble

Review: 4 stars

I will be the first to admit that parenting is damn hard. It takes abnormal doses of energy, patience and hand/arm/back/neck strength to successfully raise an infant. My child, Aiden, is an adorable, strong-willed, fun-loving little man. Half of the days I feel like I’m firing on all cylinders with him and the other half I’m just barely keeping it together.

Hence the vast market for parenting books. ‘Bringing Up Bebe’ was recommended to me by one of my colleagues in my office’s mom group. It is advertised as one American’s behind-the-scenes investigation into how the French make motherhood look so easy.

Druckerman takes a journalistic angle to answering her burning questions, polling French friends, citing child psychology findings, and speaking to childcare experts. She also takes a step back and examines the culture and system within which the French style of parenting succeeds - of which maternity benefits, childcare subsidies and a strong public school system form the key pillars. Her writing is humorous and self-deprecating - she admits her own faults and blunders with ease. For new mothers like me, her voice is that of a supportive friend, reassuringly saying ‘You’re doing great! But here are some tips to make your life easier if you’d like’.

What I found most refreshing and practical were the French attitudes on setting a ‘cadre’ - a non-negotiable set of boundaries - within which children should pursue utmost liberty. Gentle, but firm reprimands are a form of ‘education’, steps in the continuous development of a child’s personality and moral compass. It appears to me that the ‘French way’ celebrates independence and assumes ability much more than other cultures. Babies are regarded as highly intelligent beings who can be spoken to rationally, and who learn most successfully when given ample time and space to respond to stimuli. Druckerman’s findings also give parents much more leeway to focus on themselves (e.g., evenings are for adults) and to nurture their romance instead of acquiescing to the whims of children.

There are a few shortcomings. One criticism is that Druckerman is making broad generalizations of a heterogenous society of parents - my husband suggested a real possibility that differences in parenting within a nation may be more disparate than those between nations. Some observations would’ve also been more convincing if backed up with studies or a greater number of ethnographies. But as I’ve come to learn, sensitivities are higher when the topic is how to parent successfully, and raising a child is not a science, but an art. With these caveats in mind, I was not overly distracted by the aforementioned criticisms, especially since Druckerman acknowledges these limitations time to time herself.

I really enjoyed the book, but more importantly found it to be a good conversation starter with my husband on how we might recalibrate how we raise Aiden, or our next child. There are a number of countering perspectives to what Druckerman puts forward as a better way of child-rearing (for example, advocates of no-cry and feed-on-demand parenting). However, I found this book to be a useful, reasonable addition to the ongoing parenting discourse, with practical tips that I hope to apply soon (once I pluck up my courage).

Killers of the Flower Moon | thrilling, provocative, sickening

Review: 4 stars

'Killers of the Flower Moon' was the February pick for the 'Now Read This' book club that I've been following. After a long binge on fiction, I felt I was due for some nonfiction reading. Luckily, I walked into the BMVQ bookstore, and saw the hardcover edition of this novel for over 50% off - I seriously love that bookstore. 

This book got me fired up. I was surprised by how outraged and indignant I felt as I read about the chilling conspiracy that led to a near-decimation of the Osage Indians during the 1920s in Oklahoma. The novel follows Tom White, a detective assigned by J. Edgar Hoover to solve the onslaught of mysterious Osage Indian deaths. What makes the murders all the more curious, is the fact that the Osage Indians were the wealthiest people per capita in the world at the time, given the proceeds from their headrights.

This book is meticulously researched, and enriched by the interviews, photographs, press clippings, and recorded conversations that Grann stitches together to evoke the Wild West atmosphere of the times. Justice was often taken into one's own hands (particularly rich, white hands), and meted out carelessly, with the exception of White's hunt for the Osage murder masterminds. Grann paces the plot masterfully, raising pulses when key witnesses and enforcement officers are conveniently dispatched just as they uncover vital clues. The cast of characters - the Osage, their white spouses and guardians, cowboy vigilantes, doctors, and nascent law enforcement - are dynamic, and Grann keeps you guessing until the end as to who the villains truly are. 

One fact that infuriated me was how many of the Osage Indians, despite their supposed riches from oil, were in fact quite destitute. This is because many Osage were assigned white guardians to manage their money and to dole out their meagre allowances, if they were deemed incompetent (which many were, just by way of their ethnicity). This transgressive appropriation of wealth was not secreted away - rather, it was a oft-stated goal amongst notable white society men to amass as many guardianships as possible, as a means to substantially increase their personal wealth. Marriage was another means to wealth. Ernest, the husband of Mollie, one of the main Osage characters, says in a statement: 'I don't work. I married an Osage'. It is hard to believe that this massacre - dozens of Osage - was swept under the rug of American history and unearthed only now for mainstream consumption. 

This book prompted me to consider the state of Aboriginals in Canada, and in what ways their stories are still untold to this day. We read headlines about how a teenage couple, the first in their families to graduate high school, were murdered by a jealous cousin, or how First Nations populations are more than three times likely to die prematurely due to drug or alcohol-related causes than non-Aboriginals. So much tragedy is already in the public sphere, but how many countless injustices have been conveniently forgotten, with no historian to archive or give weight to them? 

I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a sobering, real-life thriller. Grann has done a mighty service by sharing this convincing, riveting story with us.

Educated | inspirational, raw, courageous

Review: 4 stars

I have been following along PBS and NPR's 'Now Read This' bookclub throughout the summer, and have discovered quite a few wonderful reads through them. 'Educated' was the May pick, and after having seen it heavily merchandised in Indigo stores as well, I decided to give it a go.

'Educated' is an autobiographical memoir by Westover, taking us through her unbelievable and highly unorthodox upbringing in Idaho. She is one voice in a cacophony of Mormonism, survivalism, and sexism that defines her family. This voice is humble, hellbent on truth-telling, and pioneering. As someone who had a largely mainstream childhood with oddball moments (my father caught us a pet bird using a plastic bag), Westover's family seems to be the stuff of fiction. The memories she intimates are shocking in their violence, bitterness and detachment from our society's typical notions of reality. Her larger-than-life characters are complex and flawed, particularly those of her father, mother and brother Shawn. Perhaps the moments that were most outrageous for me were when her family outright rejected modern medicine in favour of prayer and homemade antidotes for life-threatening injuries. 

It was fascinating to follow Westover as she came into her own, and conquered her unintentional ignorance of the world as most of us know it. Sequestered away in Buck's Peak, she was able to forge a path to Harvard and Cambridge - the highest echelons of Western education. This is a radical transformation from a woman who was unaware of the Holocaust or the American Civil Rights movement until her first day of college.

This is a captivating, heartfelt read. Westover's writing deftly evokes her struggle between the steel toed, hell and fire narrative that wins her acceptance among her family, and the broader world and history that many of us take for granted. I appreciated how it made me question the balance of value I place on the classroom education I received from kindergarten to matriculation, versus the life lessons that have defined my character. 

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